Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
hi.
as usual, i could start this post by saying, "it's been awhile." i haven't posted since april...3 months ago! i am bad at consistency. but i'm trying to get better.
so much has happened since then.
firstly, my husband left to begin the process of a deployment to afghanistan. he's on base at camp pendleton in california, preparing to go to afghanistan next month. it's been a roller coaster of emotion, for sure. some days i'm fine, other days i'm really sad, and most days there is just a lingering sadness over me. i'm pretty sure it will be here to stay until dan gets home. even amidst that sadness, i have been keeping busy, having fun, and enjoying friends.
i recently visited dan over independence day weekend. we stayed 3 days in san diego. it was a lot of fun. we watched fireworks on a rooftop, explored the city, had great fish tacos, and laid around the hotel watching movies for an entire day. it was lovely. now its on to the next stepping stone of this deployment process - he'll be home for a week in august. after that, he goes to afghanistan for 8 months. i don't know how that will feel. currently, with him being in the states, it feels as if seeing him is still attainable. i know that he is within our borders. if worse came to worse, i could get to him. but to be what seems like worlds away and in harm's way... i don't know how that will feel or how i will handle it. psalm 91, psalm 91, psalm 91.
my grandfather al also recently passed away. june 27th of this summer. i never, never, never would have seen it coming. he was so full of life and joy and abundance. it just doesn't feel possible or real that he is gone. we had a memorial service for him today in michigan. it was really beautiful. it's amazing to me how many lives he has touched.
last, but certainly not least...i know have two roomies! my dear friend mary cassidy and a new friend rachel. it's worked out really wonderfully. its great to have their company and companionship. especially nowadays.
plus, we watch really fun shows together. love you girls!
so much has happened since then.
firstly, my husband left to begin the process of a deployment to afghanistan. he's on base at camp pendleton in california, preparing to go to afghanistan next month. it's been a roller coaster of emotion, for sure. some days i'm fine, other days i'm really sad, and most days there is just a lingering sadness over me. i'm pretty sure it will be here to stay until dan gets home. even amidst that sadness, i have been keeping busy, having fun, and enjoying friends.
i recently visited dan over independence day weekend. we stayed 3 days in san diego. it was a lot of fun. we watched fireworks on a rooftop, explored the city, had great fish tacos, and laid around the hotel watching movies for an entire day. it was lovely. now its on to the next stepping stone of this deployment process - he'll be home for a week in august. after that, he goes to afghanistan for 8 months. i don't know how that will feel. currently, with him being in the states, it feels as if seeing him is still attainable. i know that he is within our borders. if worse came to worse, i could get to him. but to be what seems like worlds away and in harm's way... i don't know how that will feel or how i will handle it. psalm 91, psalm 91, psalm 91.
my grandfather al also recently passed away. june 27th of this summer. i never, never, never would have seen it coming. he was so full of life and joy and abundance. it just doesn't feel possible or real that he is gone. we had a memorial service for him today in michigan. it was really beautiful. it's amazing to me how many lives he has touched.
last, but certainly not least...i know have two roomies! my dear friend mary cassidy and a new friend rachel. it's worked out really wonderfully. its great to have their company and companionship. especially nowadays.
plus, we watch really fun shows together. love you girls!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
it's been a while.
good morning.
i'm up earlier than usual, and that feels good. for the past couple of months i've been barely dragging myself out of bed about a half hour before its time to go off to work. i leave hurried, frustrated, angry, unprepared, and hungry. i hate all of those feelings! i got up at 7am today - after much argument with myself. and after hitting snooze several times. my goal is 6am. i figure, that gives me two hours to piddle around the house and take my time getting ready. that is what i need to feel calm. everything seems so rushed lately, i just need a few hours of the day where there is calm. you can only find that early in the morning or really late at night. because there is nothing else to do - but be calm.
i'm up earlier than usual, and that feels good. for the past couple of months i've been barely dragging myself out of bed about a half hour before its time to go off to work. i leave hurried, frustrated, angry, unprepared, and hungry. i hate all of those feelings! i got up at 7am today - after much argument with myself. and after hitting snooze several times. my goal is 6am. i figure, that gives me two hours to piddle around the house and take my time getting ready. that is what i need to feel calm. everything seems so rushed lately, i just need a few hours of the day where there is calm. you can only find that early in the morning or really late at night. because there is nothing else to do - but be calm.
Monday, December 14, 2009
detox.
so i'm doing a detox today.
it's supposed to remove toxins/chemicals/waste/etc/ from your body. all the chemicals and toxins we store can cause fatigue, headaches, and a host of other more serious issues.
i wish we could detox our non-physical bodies. our hearts, our minds, our souls. well, i know that we can - with the blood of christ, but sometimes i wish it were more simple. i wish there was a step by step method that would reap results immediately. at the same time, i know that this isn't what i would really want - because mystery is good. stumbling and finding your own way is good.
but geeeeeeesh. sometimes i wish it were easier.
it's supposed to remove toxins/chemicals/waste/etc/ from your body. all the chemicals and toxins we store can cause fatigue, headaches, and a host of other more serious issues.
i wish we could detox our non-physical bodies. our hearts, our minds, our souls. well, i know that we can - with the blood of christ, but sometimes i wish it were more simple. i wish there was a step by step method that would reap results immediately. at the same time, i know that this isn't what i would really want - because mystery is good. stumbling and finding your own way is good.
but geeeeeeesh. sometimes i wish it were easier.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
home.
went home this past weekend. so beautiful.
if you didn't know, i have the most amazing church. a church that started out in a school gym, to a tent, and now a gorgeous building.
the area is so small, unassuming. but wow! god never fails to show up, never fails to remind me of who i am. each and every time i visit, i am reminded.
anyways, they started what they call a "prayer furnace." it's three sessions every day of harp and bowl worship. it is absolutely beautiful. for the past two weeks, several people from my church have been in worship and prayer for about 40 hours a week.
it was wonderful to reconnect with friends and talk about how much time has flown by. to laugh, to talk, to cry a lot. it was good.
i'm just reminded again of how far i feel that i am straying lately. not exactly from the lord, well i should say not totally. but i'm straying from myself, from who i am. i'm getting short changed. i'm settling. it isn't good, and it was never intended.
it's spiritual, it's physical. i can sense it, i can feel it.
oh, let your fire fall.
we are in need of you.
our hearts are longing for your presence.
if you didn't know, i have the most amazing church. a church that started out in a school gym, to a tent, and now a gorgeous building.
the area is so small, unassuming. but wow! god never fails to show up, never fails to remind me of who i am. each and every time i visit, i am reminded.
anyways, they started what they call a "prayer furnace." it's three sessions every day of harp and bowl worship. it is absolutely beautiful. for the past two weeks, several people from my church have been in worship and prayer for about 40 hours a week.
it was wonderful to reconnect with friends and talk about how much time has flown by. to laugh, to talk, to cry a lot. it was good.
i'm just reminded again of how far i feel that i am straying lately. not exactly from the lord, well i should say not totally. but i'm straying from myself, from who i am. i'm getting short changed. i'm settling. it isn't good, and it was never intended.
it's spiritual, it's physical. i can sense it, i can feel it.
oh, let your fire fall.
we are in need of you.
our hearts are longing for your presence.
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